It is apparently nearly impossible to try and get yourself to do anything when you don’t have any energy, or any belief that what you are doing is going to be any good. Who knew?
So, after much thought, I have basically just decided to do something even if it did suck. There are some things that I want to do with this blog, and part of it is actually dealing with what happens in your brain when you go through rough patches of depression and anxiety. Mostly to help myself get through all the rough patches of depression and anxiety. Usually anxiety, at least right now.
Anxiety is my evil shoulder monkey. It kind of just sits there and plants so many layers of doubt that I have to wade through before I am ever able to do anything. It’s okay though. at least I know what it is and know for the most part how to cope with it. Even if I do it badly most of the time.
Right now the biggest problem with helping me cope is the fact that I am pregnant. I wanted to be, I knew that I would have to go off my anxiety medication to both be pregnant and to breastfeed once the baby gets here, but I did it anyway. Now I get to swim in some very messy waters of my own creation. It’s forcing me to get super creative in how I deal with things. Especially to stay healthy enough for the baby that I am carrying and the one that is already here and trying to figure out how to deal with her now super crazy mama. She’s doing quite well actually. 5 year old’s are awesome.
So that’s a bit of what this blog will be about. There will be commentary about what the fuck is going on in the world, and how parenting is so freaking weird.
Because it is fucking weird.